Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are parts of His body.

Ephesians 5:25–30

Many husbands that I know today seem to struggle with their marriages. And one of the most common reasons they do, if I had to put my finger on it, seems to be because they fail at giving themselves up for their wives.

Husbands, let yourselves go. I realize that many wives are also to blame for their part in marital troubles. However, that does not change the clear call of Scripture to men. We are to model Christ in our marriages. I admit this is an area I struggle in most of all but, that’s why I’m writing this; to encourage anyone reading this, including myself, to remember that when Christ looked down from the cross and saw us He didn’t see someone worth dying for. He saw us denying Him, rejecting Him, and rebelling against Him for our own desires. But, He stayed. He didn’t wait for us to get it together and start treating Him right. He stayed on the cross and gave Himself up for us.

So, husbands, let yourselves go. Stop waiting for your wives to treat you right and set aside your desires. Lift your marriage up to the Lord and begin finding ways to love your wives the way you love your own bodies, caring for them and nurturing them, making any sacrifice necessary to ensure that they don’t go hungry for the love that Christ has for them. Because He’s chosen you to be the vessel of His love and poured it out on you when you didn’t deserve it. That’s why John says We love, because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19). Because Christ has shown love to you, even when you didn’t deserve it, you can show love to your wife, even when she hasn’t earned it and even when you don’t “feel” it.